


Once

by indefensibleselfindulgence



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Bitterness, Character Study, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 10:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15993638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indefensibleselfindulgence/pseuds/indefensibleselfindulgence
Summary: They were close, once.Closer, at least. Closer than this.





	Once

**Author's Note:**

> listen im not saying who ever wrote the kneel scene wrote fanfiction 
> 
> but they've definitely read it
> 
> not betad

They were close, once.

Closer, at least. Closer than this.

His bad knee aches when he kneels in front of his King. If he closes his eyes, he can remember what things were like when they were younger. Before the marriage. Before the children.

When Harrow used to look at him, he used to look at him with wonder, amazement, satisfaction.

It's all disdain and thinly veiled irritation at the best of times now.

That Viren has somehow become nothing but another... inconvenience.

Once, when they were younger, it might have stung. Knowing that he was just another duty, another courtier, another piece of paperwork the King had to put up with. Now, that part of him is smaller. Weaker.

Quiet.

Viren wants to argue, to sit Harrow down and explain, explain in a way that he understands beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is for his own good, that this is an advantageous position, that they can walk away from this together. Happy and safe and together.

Every argument is refuted though, and Viren is left with little if any choice in the matter. To just go along with what his King wants. To get on his knees. To be a servant.

They used to do everything together. They were inseparable. Viren was his right-hand man.

The portrait in his chambers serves as little more then a bitter reminder now.

Harrow pretends like this was an inevitability and not a direct result of inaction on their part- on his part.

Viren knows better.

Some guilty part of him always knew better- that Harrow was soft. That he cared too deeply, to kindly for a kingdom that would bare him either way.

They were at war after all.

War didn't tolerate kindness. War didn't tolerate softness. War didn't tolerate ethics.

War tolerated action.

Viren knew from the beginning if he's forced to be honest. That Harrow wasn't ever meant to do this. He would have been a good king at peacetime. But with monsters clawing at their doorstep, Harrow simply wouldn't be enough.

He loves his children. Harrow gave him the place, the time, the power to love his children, to raise them to be happy and safe and strong. They could defend themselves against the war.

He doesn't expect Harrow's brats to last a day.

Here, on his knees, he's forced to bring the thought that haunted him for years to the forefront of his mind.

He is a servant to a coward.

When they were younger, it wasn't like this. Harrow supported him, encouraged him, gave him room to grow and discover, to create something new and wonderful, and now he is being stamped down like he's nothing. Like his magic is nothing. Like everything they made together is nothing.

When they were younger, Viren was stupid enough to look up to his King. His friend. His entire world. They grew up together. They learned together. They started a war together.

That has to count for something, doesn't it?

He remembers hot summer evenings, hiding from the crownsguard in the tunnels with Harrow at his side. The stone was warm even if the air was cool and they could sit and talk for hours. He remembers cold winter mornings when Viren would make Harrow tea to wake him in the mornings. The way the light shone through the thin curtains and how it made Harrow's eyes glow.

He remembers springs spent in a lodge miles away with a lush garden that he lectured Harrow on for hours. There was a lake there, and Viren remembers Harrow smiling with so much joy he thought his heart would collapse. He remembers autumns spent in the library for hours until Harrow pulled him out of his books for dinner. Viren remembers how tired both of them were and how Harrow didn't mind him leaning on his shoulder for even a second.

He remembers the nights they got drunk to ignore their mounting fear of attack from every angle in the war tents. The border was snowy, even in spring. And with enough mulled wine in him, Viren remembers having no moral quandaries about getting down on his knees for his King.

They were close once.

His children are strong. They will survive whatever abominations come at them. He is strong. He will end the war he started.

Harrow?

It'll be a miracle if he lasts for another hour.

When Viren leaves the room, he tells his son to guard the door with his life. He tells the guards the same. There's no real reason to linger where he is not wanted.

He is done humiliating himself for someone who doesn't care about him in the slightest.

A servant goes when they are dismissed.

And Viren is nothing but a servant.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always encouraged and very appreciated
> 
> please [talk to me](http://iamalivenow.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> [Someone Gets Hurt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hBy11aK-qw/) is a great Viren song btw


End file.
